Sweetest Salvation Read online

  Evernight Publishing

  www.evernightpublishing.com

  Copyright© 2013 Kacey Hammell

  ISBN: 978-1-77130-330-9

  Cover Artist: Sour Cherry Designs

  Editor: JS Cook

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

  WARNING: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. No part of this book may be used or reproduced electronically or in print without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews.

  This is a work of fiction. All names, characters, and places are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  DEDICATION

  To the real-life Andy…thank you for sharing your story with me. Your friendship means more than you know.

  And for all those who have loved and lost, and then picked yourselves up again, this is for you too.

  AUTHOR’S NOTE

  Though the settings of Ottawa, Wolfe Island and Gananoque are actual places in Ontario, Canada, some businesses’ names and locales have been constructed or modified imaginatively within this fictitious story. Any allowances and/or mistakes are my own.

  SWEETEST SALVATION

  Kacey Hammell

  Copyright © 2013

  Chapter One

  Andy Sheaver walked through Club Splendor, head down and uncertain as to why she was there exactly. When the thought entered her mind earlier in the week, she’d immediately dismissed it. But the more she pondered it, the harder it was to resist.

  She’d never been at the club on her own. Patrick had always made their plans and accompanied her.

  Patrick.

  Her stomach clenched just thinking about him. She missed him so much.

  The decision to come here was not easy. But she thought she’d also feel closer to him just being there. She held that hope close, desperate for a connection to something they shared.

  She lifted her head as she drew closer to the maître d. He gave her a bright smile, as well as a look of pity. She’d come to expect it from a lot of people these days.

  “Mrs. Sheaver,” he grinned and looked down at the black leather appointment book in his hands. “It’s wonderful to see you. I hope you’ve been well?”

  She smiled and nodded. “Thank you, Zander. It is good to see you, too.”

  He looked at her and frowned. “I don’t have you on the books for tonight. Perhaps you called and spoke to one of the day staff?”

  Uncertain of what the normal protocol was, she’d hoped to get into the club based on past visits. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think to call ahead. Patrick always…” Andy trailed off, unable to finish.

  Zander gently smiled. Again, the pity in his eyes was not what she wanted to see. But to get in tonight, before she lost her nerve, she would face it.

  “Yes, you’re right.” He looked around, and she could see his mind working. “Why don’t you go on ahead and we’ll keep this to ourselves. Please do contact me personally anytime.” He drew a card from his book and handed it to her. “I’ll make sure you’re taken care of in the future.”

  “Thank you so much. I really need to be here tonight.” She slid his business card into the small pocket of her black miniskirt.

  His hand brushed her shoulder softly. “I understand. Go right on ahead. I’ll contact Bridget and let her know you’re here. If you’ll head to the bar, she’ll meet you there.”

  “Thank you again. If I could request one more favor?” she asked, biting her lip. She hated to ask anything more of his kindness.

  “If I can,” he checked his watch then gave her his full attention.

  “I’d really like to keep my presence here tonight quiet. I’m not sure what room I’ll visit and would just like privacy.”

  Zander’s brows drew together. “But Mr. Sullivan will want to know you’re here. He always made a point of greeting you and your hus-husband.”

  “No,” Andy ordered. “I don’t want Mr. Sullivan to know I’m here. Is he on the premises now?”

  The last thing she needed was to see Hunter. Patrick’s best friend and owner of the club, Hunter made a point of checking in on her daily. Leaving messages on her machine, texts, and even resorted to calling her in-laws to see if she was all right when she refused to contact him. He was driving her crazy.

  She ran a hell of a risk bumping into him here, but she desperately needed to do this. To be somewhere she and Patrick loved to enjoy, and where they'd found so much pleasure. Her first time without him by her side was something she had to find the fortitude to get through.

  “All right.” Zander interrupted her thoughts. “I’ll inform Bridget that you wish privacy and make sure the rest of the staff is aware. Are you sure you’re okay?”

  Andy met his gaze and hoped her smile was enough to appease him. She wasn’t sure of anything, except the need to get out of her house and find someone to take some of the agony away.

  “I’m fine. Thank you again, Zander.” She pulled out a couple twenty-dollar bills from her pocket and held them to him.

  “Oh no.” He shook his head adamantly. “I couldn’t. Please, just enjoy and please come find me should you need anything.”

  “Nonsense.” She grabbed his hand and pushed the bills into it. With one last smile, she left his station and walked down the dim hallway toward the bar.

  Club Splendor always stole her breath. Soft and warm jazz filled the air, and her heart thudded. Patrick had introduced her to the genre of music when they were dating and it was something she adored making love to. She drew in a deep breath and looked around the room as she leaned on the bar.

  Nearly eleven months since she’d last been there. The room still had that warmth to it, but the colors of gold and black had been replaced with silver and red. In the far corners of her mind, she recalled Hunter talking about remodeling some of the rooms to keep things fresh and exciting for the patrons.

  She had to admit his choices were sensual and inviting. She’d always admired his business savvy and taste in the finer things. So different from Patrick, who always had a difficult time just matching his tie and dress shirt. Their friendship was something she’d always wondered about. They were so different, it was almost like opposites attracting. But their bond was unbreakable.

  A light touch on her shoulder made her jump.

  “I’m sorry, Mrs. Sheaver. I didn’t mean to startle you.” Bridget, the club’s hostess, smiled at her.

  Andy jerked in surprise when Bridget’s arms came around her in a light hug.

  Throat tight, she patted Bridget on the back. The young woman always had a soft spot for Patrick but never felt an ounce of jealousy whenever he would flirt with Bridget. She often found it sweet and delicious that someone would have an innocent crush on her husband. Patrick was a man who liked to flirt but would never stray.

  She pulled back and smiled for the first time in a long while. “Thank you.” She caught the tears forming in the other woman’s eyes and clenched her hands tight. “Here now, it’s all right.”

  A lump formed in Andy’s throat and her body trembled with sorrow. She couldn’t allow tears to fall, or it would take forever to stop them again. “Could you get me a glass of white wine, please?”

  It was best to keep Bridget focused so she wouldn’t shed any tears of her own. That she’d cared so much about Patrick was kind, but she wasn’t here for condolences.

  Bridget breathed in deep and nodded. “Of course. Any room in particular you’d like to be taken to?” She turned and waved the bartender closer. “A white wine, please, David. No tab.”

  “I can’t allow you to do that. David, please make sure you put that on our—my usual tab
. Sheaver.” She narrowed her gaze at him, brooking no arguments.

  “Yes, ma’am,” David replied and set about pouring her drink.

  “Mrs. Sheaver,” Bridget began.

  “Andrea or Andy. I hear Mrs. and have to look around for my mother-in-law,” Andy reminded her. “And Patrick would give you a good slap on the ass if he were here.”

  Bridget smiled gently and blushed. “Yes, you’re right. Andy, I…”

  “It’s okay, go ahead. What is it?”

  “I’m surprised to see you here. I’m glad you are, but nonetheless, I am surprised.” Bridget handed her the glass of wine that David passed to her.

  Andy accepted it, and took a small sip. The liquid was cool and gentle as it slid down her parched throat. “Yes, I imagine a lot of people would be surprised to see me. But I needed to get out of the house. To be somewhere Patrick and I enjoyed together.”

  Eyes sad, Bridget stepped closer and wrapped an arm around Andy’s waist. “I miss seeing him. He was the most special man.”

  Andy didn’t understand why she felt so drawn to this woman. Perhaps it was their shared appreciation and love for Patrick. Or maybe she simply understood and didn’t push Andy to share feelings or try to take care of her.

  She slid her arm around Bridget’s slim waist and gave her a gentle squeeze. “Thank you. I know he enjoyed your company whenever we were here. You and he shared great many jokes and laughter. He adored you.”

  Bridget sniffled and stepped back when her phone rang. Over Bridget’s shoulder, Andy saw Hunter’s name come up on the screen and moved back a few feet. “Duty calls. Go ahead. I’m just going to wander.”

  “I won’t let him know you’re here, Andy. Zander texted me about your wish for privacy.” She pushed a button on her phone and spoke into it. “Mr. Sullivan, how are you this evening?”

  With a final wave at Bridget, Andy turned and followed another hallway farther into the club.

  Erotic pictures of men and women locked in embraces, women pleasuring other women and groups of people finding ecstasy in one another’s arms lined the walls. Andy remembered the first time she’d walked this area.

  Arm in arm with Patrick, her cheeks flushed in embarrassment, she’d averted her gaze repeatedly. Only to shift back often when curiosity got the better of her. Patrick always kissed her heated cheeks and chuckled. He’d wanted to show her all the pleasures of the flesh that he could.

  Theirs had been an honest and trusting marriage full of hot nights, erotic weekend trips and lovemaking that continued to haunt her dreams. He’d shown her in more ways than she could count just how much he loved her. Every day had been something new, some sexy and erotic text or letter on the pillow beside her when he’d left for work.

  They hadn’t needed Club Splendor to spice up their marriage. Some nights she’d been so exhausted from the multiple orgasms he’d give her that she’d felt drunk afterward. When he’d first told her about the club, she’d balked and said absolutely not. But the more he’d told her about the pleasures people found there, the more her curiosity and imagination ran rampant. Within a month, they’d made their first trip to the club and had become members a week later.

  She found the titillating and exciting sex within the club’s walls added a higher level of electricity and stimulation to their sex life. From threesomes to D/s relationships to females pleasuring one another…acts she quickly realized that she loved to watch. She’d never thought of herself as a voyeur before, but couldn’t leave the club any evening without witnessing something. Most nights she and Patrick had made use of one of the rooms, the toys there and the exhilaration of being watched as well.

  The club was exclusive and Hunter was firm about who were given the right of passage to walk the halls and interact with other members. He screened every couple carefully. Safety for everyone was his main priority.

  Her teeth clenched thinking of Hunter.

  She couldn’t face him tonight. Oh he’d be livid when he learned she was there. She and Patrick had never entered the club without the other present. It had been a silent agreement they had and no other members had approached them to join in their fantasies separately.

  Many members often requested their interaction with them, but she and Patrick had chosen not to enter such situations. They would rather look and not touch. Within months, others had stopped approaching them. Patrick had told her once that Hunter had made it known that they didn’t wish to interact with anyone else so they’d stopped asking.

  Hunter had also made it known that he would take care of cancelling her membership to the club after Patrick’s death. At the time, she hadn’t thought anything of it and didn’t comment. But this past week, as she’d thought of returning to the club and the need to do so overwhelming her, anger over the fact that he’d have the audacity to make such a decision for her was all-consuming. Who the hell was he to interfere in her life?

  It was her life, not his. Her plan. How far she was willing to go tonight was unlike anything she’d done before.

  She needed to absorb the memories of happier time with her husband. Except her recent thoughts were darker, more punishing than anything she’d ever considered pushing herself into. The Images running through her mind were so different and beyond what she’d shared with Patrick. Oddly enough, they made some of her agony more bearable.

  Andy didn’t understand the driving need to take part in activities that she hadn’t before, but felt dangerously close to the edge. Sometimes she wished she had the courage to end the misery herself, but never could.

  She had no idea what else to do.

  Stopping in front of Room Six, Andy took a deep breath. Hunter had been gracious enough to give her and Patrick an exclusive room to use. A perk of Patrick’s friendship with him, she supposed.

  She’d always liked the extra privacy having a room to themselves allowed. And she loved it even more that windows lined one wall of the room, affording her the ability to watch other couples or groups having sex.

  Hand on the doorknob, she closed her eyes and turned it. Walking into the room, her breath hitched. Tears filled her eyes.

  Just seeing the familiar surroundings, she wanted to flee. The soft, black leather sofa and matching loveseat where she and Patrick had made love countless times called to her. She closed the door and walked over to the sofa. She sat and ran her hands over the material. Cool to the touch. She shivered.

  She set her now empty glass on the side table and leaned back. The comfort of the sofa felt good against her back and the air conditioning cooled her heated skin. Smiling gently, relaxation set in a little.

  For the first time in nearly a year, a sense of calm washed over her. She was glad she’d come here. She missed Patrick terribly, but needed to find some way to release the guilt and loneliness that threatened to consume her.

  Andy reached out and picked up the remote on the side table. She pointed it at the wall in front of her and a curtain opened.

  Behind the glass, a young couple—if she had to guess they were probably in their late twenties—captured her attention.

  A bed sat in the middle of the small room. The room was barely bigger than a bathroom with only a small vanity and commode. But the surroundings weren’t what she was really interested in looking at.

  Bound, hands tied behind her, a blonde woman stood with legs apart and stared straight ahead. Naked but for nipple clamps, nipples extended, she was a beautiful sight. A man stood to the side of her with a long, black flogger in his hand. Dressed only in blue jockey shorts, his cock stood at full attention.

  Andy wet her dry lips.

  Dark hair, flat and rippled abs, muscular build, the man was sexy. Powerful. Her pussy quivered.

  She closed her eyes. Guilt rushed over her as desire and adrenaline mixed in. There hadn’t been with another man since Patrick and she never wanted to be with anyone.

  But when she lifted her gaze and watched the man run the flogger over his partner’s body, slapping her b
reasts and pulling the nipple clamps, the desire to join them nearly choked her.

  She’d never joined any of the couples before.

  There never seemed to be a need to allow anyone else into the sex she and her husband shared.

  But now, the need was strong.

  With a deep sigh, Andy resolved herself to the inevitable. The same thoughts that had plagued her all week, to do something different, break out of hiding and find a way to make the pain go away, rushed back. Even if only for one night.

  Her guilt and pain would never go away, but maybe for a little while she could put it aside to feel something else. Anything that didn’t feel nearly as suffocating. She didn’t deserve to move beyond her own pain, but needed to find a way to endure it.

  Andy stood and moved across the room. With a light knock on the window, she hit another button on the remote in her hand. The man’s gaze lifted and stared wide-eyed at her.

  All rooms were outfitted with the windows to fulfill their voyeuristic pleasures, but if the patrons wished to participate, they only had to push the “view” button and those on the other side of the glass could see them too. Participation only needed to be requested, and then it would be up to the couple or group to allow another person into their pleasure.

  She pushed the “slide” button and the glass parted in the middle. She smiled, appreciating the ingenuity of the club’s devices and hidden gems.

  The couple stared at her.

  She took a deep breath. “Hello,” she greeted them with a small smile and set the remote on the table beside the window.

  The woman blinked, her blue eyes meeting Andy’s.

  Andy shifted her feet, unsure what to say to the woman who might not want another female joining in their interlude.